Attachment, intention, and attention: How a reverse bucket list helps to reframe the endless pursuit of achievement that ultimately leaves us feeling empty
This was really interesting to read since I've been dealing with a similar issue! The idea in theory makes sense, but how does one go about "convincing" themselves that they want something less? Clearly, doing the reverse bucket list won't immediately have that affect—so what other steps can one take in that direction to reduce the wants?
Great question Serena, thanks for raising it. I think the "convincing" comes as part of contemplation and analogy. Explicitly listing out your goals is the first step since it helps you to clarify what you're really striving for. This step itself may take some time to drill down to the real root cause (as an aside, the 5 Whys technique I've written about before might be helpful here: https://joshbrake.substack.com/p/wonder-why).
After you've got a list that identifies your goals, the next step is to try to map the future experience of achieving those goals on to experiences we've already have achieving smaller ones.
Here's one example that I've been thinking about. Say for instance that one of the goals on my bucket list is to grow my Substack and profile as a writer to 1000 subscribers. If I really think about it, the satisfaction of that experience won't be categorically different than the goal I set a while back of getting from 10 to 100 subscribers. After I achieved that it gave me some short burst of satisfaction, but ultimately didn't make a lasting change in my life. So, by analogy, I can imagine that if and when I get to 1000 subscribers (or 100,000 for that matter), I will feel a similar short bump of satisfaction but it won't ultimately make a lasting difference in my life and my search for meaning.
I think the "convincing" here really has to do with sitting with our aspirations and contemplating why we're pursuing them and what we hope to get by achieving them. And what Brooks and many other wisdom traditions throughout history have pointed out is that inasmuch as those goals are correlated with the idols/false gods of money, fame, power, and pleasure, they won't lead to lasting satisfaction.
Four Thousand Weeks is a favorite of mine! Probably one of the best books I read last year and one I definitely intend to revisit- thanks for sharing the quotes that stood out to you and reminding me why I loved it so much.
This was really interesting to read since I've been dealing with a similar issue! The idea in theory makes sense, but how does one go about "convincing" themselves that they want something less? Clearly, doing the reverse bucket list won't immediately have that affect—so what other steps can one take in that direction to reduce the wants?
Great question Serena, thanks for raising it. I think the "convincing" comes as part of contemplation and analogy. Explicitly listing out your goals is the first step since it helps you to clarify what you're really striving for. This step itself may take some time to drill down to the real root cause (as an aside, the 5 Whys technique I've written about before might be helpful here: https://joshbrake.substack.com/p/wonder-why).
After you've got a list that identifies your goals, the next step is to try to map the future experience of achieving those goals on to experiences we've already have achieving smaller ones.
Here's one example that I've been thinking about. Say for instance that one of the goals on my bucket list is to grow my Substack and profile as a writer to 1000 subscribers. If I really think about it, the satisfaction of that experience won't be categorically different than the goal I set a while back of getting from 10 to 100 subscribers. After I achieved that it gave me some short burst of satisfaction, but ultimately didn't make a lasting change in my life. So, by analogy, I can imagine that if and when I get to 1000 subscribers (or 100,000 for that matter), I will feel a similar short bump of satisfaction but it won't ultimately make a lasting difference in my life and my search for meaning.
I think the "convincing" here really has to do with sitting with our aspirations and contemplating why we're pursuing them and what we hope to get by achieving them. And what Brooks and many other wisdom traditions throughout history have pointed out is that inasmuch as those goals are correlated with the idols/false gods of money, fame, power, and pleasure, they won't lead to lasting satisfaction.
Four Thousand Weeks is a favorite of mine! Probably one of the best books I read last year and one I definitely intend to revisit- thanks for sharing the quotes that stood out to you and reminding me why I loved it so much.